A few years ago there was flooding in Portland. Two different family members called from another state to make sure I was safe. I reminded them that I live several miles away from the rivers, and uphill from those rivers. I was in no danger of those rising waters getting to my second-floor apartment.

Last year I got a new job that also happens to be several miles from any rivers, and has me on the second floor of a building. So when the rain comes down in Portland, I get wet but don’t have to worry about floating away.

All of these facts come to mind as I stare at the boat sitting in the hallway of our building on Friday. Why do we have a boat in the middle of a building that is not near any large bodies of water? Do we need a boat on the second floor? Does someone know something super important that I don’t? With all of these questions in my head and no one to ask them to but myself, I decided to try and come up with some reasons to have this land-locked boat in our office.

Challenge Accepted:

1. A new timeout spot for kids who are being punished. Or for grownups who want a break.
2. Thanks to the picture beside it leaning against this wall, new ID pictures can be taken using the boat and mountains as ambiance.
3. Teams that need to work on cooperation will be assigned to carry the boat around for an hour.
4. Because it’s lined up between two sets of doorways, this speed bump forces runners to go around just a little bit rather than flying straight through.
5. The fall pledge drive for food donations will be collected inside. Makes sense since humanity is all in this boat together.
6. If it ever rains for 40 days and 40 nights, someone is ready. And maybe their best friend.
7. Two people having an argument can stand on opposite sides to have space to talk and not hit each other.
8. Walking around the boat a dozen or so times might help work through stuck spot or mental knot.
9. “Everyone into the boat for story time with Captain Sparrow.”
10. While everyone else on the scavenger hunt will be heading to the river to take a picture of a boat, you’ll be sitting pretty in the hallway with this secret find.

Have any other ideas to add to my list? Comment below and share what you come up with.