A few years ago there was flooding in Portland. Two different family members called from another state to make sure I was safe. I reminded them that I live several miles away from the rivers, and uphill from those rivers. I was in no danger of those rising waters getting to my second-floor apartment.
Last year I got a new job that also happens to be several miles from any rivers, and has me on the second floor of a building. So when the rain comes down in Portland, I get wet but don’t have to worry about floating away.
All of these facts come to mind as I stare at the boat sitting in the hallway of our building on Friday. Why do we have a boat in the middle of a building that is not near any large bodies of water? Do we need a boat on the second floor? Does someone know something super important that I don’t? With all of these questions in my head and no one to ask them to but myself, I decided to try and come up with some reasons to have this land-locked boat in our office.
- A new timeout spot for kids who are being punished. Or for grownups who want a break.
- Thanks to the picture beside it leaning against this wall, new ID pictures can be taken using the boat and mountains as ambiance.
- Teams that need to work on cooperation will be assigned to carry the boat around for an hour.
- Because it’s lined up between two sets of doorways, this speed bump forces runners to go around just a little bit rather than flying straight through.
- The fall pledge drive for food donations will be collected inside. Makes sense since humanity is all in this boat together.
- If it ever rains for 40 days and 40 nights, someone is ready. And maybe their best friend.
- Two people having an argument can stand on opposite sides to have space to talk and not hit each other.
- Walking around the boat a dozen or so times might help work through stuck spot or mental knot.
- “Everyone into the boat for story time with Captain Sparrow.”
- While everyone else on the scavenger hunt will be heading to the river to take a picture of a boat, you’ll be sitting pretty in the hallway with this secret find.
Have any other ideas to add to my list? Comment below and share what you come up with.