When you’re running around downtown Portland for several hours on a Saturday morning, lots of thoughts drift through your head. And when its 18 miles of loops, you get 18 thoughts at diverse levels of brilliance, joy, pain, and jealousy for anyone, anywhere, doing anything in the entire world.

1. Its such a perfect day for a run. Thank goodness that Siri was wrong about it raining all morning.
2. After a rough week waiting for some emails to come in, its great to be out with a friend.
3. Yea! We’re already done with a loop.
   • Oh frack. I have 5 more to go. #FacePalmLifeChoice
4. If I do three long-loops and three short-loops, I can end at Starbucks. #Winning
5. I should be a dragon boat rider instead. They have snacks and shade and really loud music.
6. A father just ditched his two sons while running up a hill. Dude, the “Just Do It” from all your Nike swag is not about road killing your kids.
7. I don’t think I’d like being a rower. They have to spend hours in cramped spaces, staring at other rower’s butts.
   • My running partner Beth then helped me see how ridiculous runners are for going around in circles. Touché.
8. Beth is so much smarter than me. She’s only doing 9 miles today. Be like Beth.
9. If I just take a nap in my car instead of running more laps, will anyone know?
10. Bridges can’t go uphill forever. Can they?
11. I hate running and running hates me. I’ll never make it 7 more miles. I’m going to just live on this sidewalk corner.
12. CHEEZ-ITS ARE THE GREATEST. Calories and salt and an excuse to walk for a few minutes. I need to invest in more Cheez-its!
13. Text to Beth: “Whose stupid idea was it for me to run 18 miles today?”
14. Training runs should have beer gardens at the end. Dragon boat riders get beer gardens. Maybe they will have pity on me my sixth time passing by.
15. Saturday Market must be open because the path is now flooded with walkers who do not care how badly I need to be done.
16. New food plan: the largest amount of fries they can put into a bag. (the remainder of the mile was spent debating between Arby’s and Burger King)
17. I’ve now passed this drum group six times. Do they recognize me? Or is my super sweaty shirt and pathetically slow pace the perfect disguise?
18. My car is the bestest thing in the whole world. Even better than Cheez-its. It has a chair and air conditioner and is going to take me home.
    • About 10 minutes into drive home: I could have done another few miles
    • About 10 minutes after sitting on couch: Never mind